best fren

since fight with her last fri....hvnt been talking wit her...till 2day.....miss her so much....so long dont have nice talk wit her liao.....n didnt b annoy like wat i did last time(i like to annoy ppl hehehhe).....then rlei hv a very very gud talk.....miss the time talking,chitchating gossiping wit her....hahahaha...i wish she can cum kl n study at sunway!!!!argh!!!!!miss her so much la.........i reli hope i'm in ktn then i can go yamcha wit her n start gossiping...omg i miss that time so much!!!argh!!!!miss it so much....make me wan go back ktn more le....but scare no time meet her ny...haiz......olivia!!!!! i miss u!!!faster cum sunway study then i can start chitchating n gossipping wit u....omg...miss those time so much .....after makan then go ecm mgm shopping....argh!!!!!i wan go back that time!!!! omg....miss u so much le.....theres so many things i wan tell u....all is written here...still considering invite u here ma....i'm so sorry for misunderstand u....i guess both our character is like that....hahhahahaha.....without telling sorry v can still chat....omg ....u r my best fren forever ar!!!!miss u so much!!!!argh!!!!fast fast cum sunway study la...pujuk ur dad more!!!!argh1!!!!miss u so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!omg!!!!miss u more n more ar.....cant wait 4 u 2 cum kl study wit me......i hope ur dad reli allow u 2 cum ar.....miss u so much....hope u can cum study wit me eventhough diff course...stilll can spend time wit u ma............argh!!!!!!!!!!!miss u more  n more............i wan 8 n gossip more............cant 8 n gossip wit anyhere.....argh1!1!!!!!!!mmmmmmmmissssssssssss uuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

obsess

hahaha....
i think i i'm obsess wit blogging lo...hahahah
keep blogging ny....hahahha
well i guess this is the only place i can b me n free to talk,complain n everything witout ppl judging it....
hahahah...
my main 3 pages on websit now is this,facebook n twitter....twit twit....
hehehehehe
blogging blogging blogging.....
my life is just full of blogging....
no matter i'm sad,happy,irrirated,annoyed,anything...
i can write here witout fear.....
hahahahha...
all my personal things...can b written here...
i wont b ad ertise like twitter n facebook...
well i still like twitter n facebook...but cant reli update my status...
euther i b ignore or every 1 would noe it...haiz...hate to b ignore on facebook...
thank to those bull shit frens of mine who nvr care bout me though...(surely not u xiatoong)
well twit twit....
i dun hv much frens at twitter...
mostly all korean artist....hahahhaha
twit twit...i;m moving 2moro....
hahahahaha
so gona miss my current roommate jia min..
hmmm she isnt that bad as i thought...only need some time to b frenly...
every1 oso like that....
the other housemate nvr knew she can b so frenly n talkative....
hahaha
each time i meet all the house mate they will say jia min is boring n lonely...
well u dont know her...
u dont even try to talk to her...
n yet u say shes boring...
well i can say shes not
n shes extremely nice....
omg...damn regret wan to move le...
but still she oso gona move...
15th of april....
just another 2 weeks....
i think i gona offer her to help her....
at least i got my parents cum down kl help me move...
but her family at tawau...
so far...
how 2 cum help her.....
i should go help her....
she help me a lot in my studies(future studies...)
thanks so much for the notes n tips...n all the things bout college...u reli help me alot....hahaha
so gona miss u....
being ur roommate is like best....
both of us are more like helping each other....
i feel bad for the other housemate who is not close wit u.....
well its their lost for not being a fren wit u...

hmm...i guess the name of this post is kinda rite....hahahhahah
obsess....i'm reli obsess of blogging....i seriously can crap a lot............
hahahah
call me mr carpper!!!!
eh eh
miss
hahahahhahah
or mayb miss obsess!!!
hehehe...
everyday i will wake up earlier so that i hv time 2 on9 b4 class....hahahah
obsess obsess obses...wow...its 10.30 pm dy le...i smell maggi me....
argh!!!!feel like eating......
shit la who go cook at this time la.....
obsess wit food now...haiz.....
well i guess i'm obsess wit my comp or mayb internet....

annoying

oh great...i noe i'm annoy at sometimes....or mayb most of the time....hahahaha or should b i like to annoy ppl....hehehehehehe...well i guess i should change that attitude now.....stop annoying ppl....change change change!!!must change...
aiks...should hv noe the person longer then ny decide...aiks...my future house mate very annoying ar,,...aiks....
cant do anything liao la...just accept it...accept it.....

boyfrens

a very random topic...but i still wan write...is college life just bout gf n bf??shit lo...everyday they talk bout their bf ny lo..sien dao bao...i noe la i nvr had bf b4 but still dun la talk bout him ny eveyday...u not boring i oso boring la...n is it so nice to ask every1 got bf ma???so wat if i dun hv bf...i still can survive...well in another way i can still choose n wait for my mr,perfect...n u stupid a beng...u think u so lengzhai ar...shit lo..reli like a beng la..dun judge a ppl through the look la...so wat if i'm not pretty n leng nui..then cant b frens ah???btw i oso dun wan b ur fren ar...so picky...so wat if the girl is pretty from the outside..is she pretty from inside ma??(i dun mean any1 here k) u think u so lengzhai that u only can b surrounded by leng nui ah???u are not lengzhai at all lo...reli like a beng ar...i think worse lo..make up la put so much powderr at the face,eyeliner n lipstick...eewww...shit lo...looks like shit lo...u r a guy le n yet make up...worse than those gay la...shit lo u...well in another words i'm so happy not to b ur fren...n i oso dun wan ar....shitty a beng...tai sei for ur gf dun wan u la...no wonder she dun wan u...ur personality damn teruk...judge ppl from the look..judge ur ownself 1st la...DONT EVER JUCGE A BOOK FROM ITS COVER....u nvr hear bout that b4 ah???ohya, i forgot ur english not so gud de hor a beng,,,shit la u...
OMG i so cant tahan june for talking bout bf the whole time...n keep asking ppl bout their bf....each person got their own personal story la..if she dun wan tell u then just forget bout it la...so 8 wan noe 4 wat la..aiyo n stop showing off ur bf pic la..saw a lot time dy la....
n mr a beng no wonder ur gf dun wan u,...stop being so unloyal la...at sunway gf at kl it isnt that far...so stop hanging out n pui all the girls that hv bf...no wonder ppl say u playboy....24 hours wit girls ny...i think u 1min witout a girl will die lo..n tania,u got bf liao...y keep ask mr a beng teman u here n there la..its so unloyal,,,,ur bf damn nice come pui u shopping that day n yet u wit some other guys....ur bf hv 2 cum so far from tarc to pui u...n the other time in sunway u wit that mr a beng,..eewwww.....
hmmm...june y must i get a bf???u think i say i wan then i straight can get ah???later get 1 useless guy ma lagi cham....shit lo.....
i prefer to wait slowly till my mr perfect cum...hehehehe...well  i hope is 'him'...but then in college still hv a lot other guy la....hahahahaha

classes

hnmm....
i duno wan say yeah or wat la....
started this morning wit not very gud luck....
my specs spoil....
aiks..>.<
then decided to wear contact lens.....
heheheheh
hnnn...
then class goes prefectly....
meet another new classmate 2day..but he is 1 year older...
can u believe u took FIA then switch to CAL n now back to FIA???
geng hor....
he in sunway since last year though....
hahaha...
senior....hehhehe
well i oso duno y i wan talk bout it,...mayb surprise kua...he already spend rm30k le....
omgosh!!!!!!!
hehhehehe
well then i hv malaysian studies.....
aka sej...
shit lo.....
excatly like form 5 sej only its in english....
hahahaha.....
boring...but 'he' is sitting in front of me...hahahahaha
but i dun dare look so much coz i scare he realise n my frens realise....
hehehehe...
then saw a girl looks like my ktn fren but actually shes not....heheheh
luckily i didnt go say hi!!!
hahahaha
then english class...
hmm new teacher....
i guess shes ok...
hahhahaha
well starting i thought 'he' is not in the class...
then i just sit there...boring
when the class start n teacher start ask us 2 intro i only realise he is behind of me!!
like he is behind me so long but when i turn around then only i realise its him!!!
how can i b so blur.....
hahahha
then teacher ask to form groups...
well thought of asking him to b in mine group but hmmm....
my frens dun wan....
aiks...>.<
my only chance gone liao......T.T
well then v hv 2 sort of 'fight' wit other group.....
well his group target my group a lot....hahhahah
so i get 2 c him a lot....
shit
i'm like obsess over him.....kakakakakak
then the class end....
hahahha.....
then while walking down he was very near to me...
hahahah..
obsess...
well dun care him...
hmm
its time to start packing my stuff huh...
moving 2moro n hvnt even start packing...argh!!!!pack pack pack...
ciao!!!!

studies....

its 10 sumtin dy....i think i should sleep early 2nite....got 6 hours class 2moro...haiz
malaysian studies sounds so nice rite...but its sejarah!!!!argh!!!! shit lo....
wat la malaysian studies....history then history la...y wan make it sound so nice...
it still sucks eventhough sounds so nice....haiz......

well at the same time i got a great chat wit my roommate....get to know her more n get to noe bout the course i'm taking more...i think now i'm more prepared dy....well pity her though....during her time it is the 1st time they introduce foundation in arts n the school make them rush during the last sem....but still she pass n get 2 continue to lanchaster university....hahahahaha

hmm....i hope i can do well in my course though....thank jia min so much for all the info....hehehh...thanks so much for helping me....i think now i'm more prepare n ready to face my course.....
i will take it no matter wat happen...well she suffer more than me....
so i should appreciate it coz it should b much better now....hahahaha
gud luck 2 me my self....
well i shouldnt complain that i hv 6 hours of class 2moro....jia min last time hv 8 hours of classes...hmm i should say i hv better time....hahaha...6 hours are definately better than 8 hours....hehehehe
study study study....i guess now i reli hv 2 study hard....
got more pressure after getting mum msg just now...she said:start preparing your notes n make it a habit of doing notes.u noe it is expensive to send you to study.your father and mother had to work hard for it.you have to start some serious study already.now u noe that mummy is serious that you show good results.we love you and want you to have a bright future..but future is in your hands.hope you can understand.
a reli touching msg from my mum....dun worry...i will work hard...i make u all dissapointed once already...i will make sure i wont do it again.....
i will study hard and try to aim for scholarship eventhough its difficult.....
gambateh!!!hwaiting!!!eunhyuk always at ur side....heheheheh=)

ANGER

wana release my anger here!!!1
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
n86 is like the worse hp i ever buy...........
shit mann
only 1month then rosak liao....haiz.....coz it suddenly overheated n battery not funcioning,,,,
just got it back last week....
n then this week,last few days during call it is very very blur...
its like extremely blur...........
then just now...
it is like totally blank...
i cant a sound at all....
haiz...
reli is the worse hp i ever buy...
dun ever buy any hp from YAP PAMAX opposite sabs de....
the hp there reli sucks!!!!damn suck!!!!!!!!!!hate it!!!!!!!

=)

hmmmm.
looking back at all my post...
i notice my post all very long le...hehehe
i think i crap too much...hehehehehe...
this is like my 2nd or 3rd post 2day...hehehe
looks like i'm obsess over bloging now....heheheh
hmmm
its a gud thing for me...
i can release my stress here....
hehehehe
i think i crap too much bout 'him' in the earlier post....
kakakakaka
i think i should stop craping bout him....
hehehehe...
i talk too much bout him that i forget 2 complain my classsroom is too cold....hahaha
my classroom reli very cold...eventhough i wear long pants n shoe still too cold....
its extremely cold though....
must remember to bring jacket there 2moro...
hehehe
must remember....
of not i will b ice by 2.30 pm....
ohya.....
2moro got 6 hours of classes le...
aiks....
almost forget liao ar...
6 hours straight le......
haiz.......
sure damn tired lo...
hv 2 rest n sleep early 2day...
haiz......6 hours of classes 2moro....
means can c him 4 6 hours....hehehe
okay...
i bcum obsess bout him again....hahaha
saw his pics just now....
a lot camwhore pics lo....
he reli like to take his own pics le....
he reli like camwhore lo....
hahahhahaha
all his own pics....
but hor..
i think he looks more lengzhai in real life than in pic le....
heheheh
okie....stop obsessing bout him....
2day i bought 1 seventeen magazine to read...hehehehe
but once my fren c i buy
she say i waste money
haiz....
just 1 mag ny ma
i got read de le
wer count waste money........
kacau la her....
thank god...i thought i didnt get 2 register at my school homepage...
haiz....
reli very panic just now...luckily its over....hehehehe
hmm....moving in a day time....
should start packing again....
hehehehe.....but too lazy to start pack le....
now i should start packing....hehehe
n i hvnt tell my house mates i'm moving....heheh...should i tell???
i dun even noe them le...
haiz....
dun wan tell la...hehehehee
still hvnt start packing yet...hehehe...still thinking wer 2 start...hahahahaha

7th post

its only 5 pm..
n i finish my dinner liao....
hahahaha
very early rite....heheheheh
coz i kinda skip a meal today....
hehehehe
i like to do it when i'm in college....
i sort of hv breakfast +lunch
then lunch+tea
n now should i call it tea+dinner????
heheheh
btw i'm full liao....
i think i will have a apple later though......
hmm
todays classes reli make me think a lot though...
hehehehe....
critical thinking class....
but still i think
but i dun dare voice out my opinion n say it loudly....
hehehehehe
still shy....
got to improve it....
aiks >.<
n maths...
i love maths....
i only dun like to talk out loud in the class....
haiz..........
hv 2 practice very hard on that.....
hmm did i mention theres a kinda handsome guy in my class????
hehehehe
i think i got mention...
but i think the post kinda lost rite........
heheheheh.....
well....
2day math tchr ask us write our email on a piece of paper so that it is easier forher to contact us.....
n i wrote my after his.....hahahaha
well his name is desmond........
n i got his email!!!!!!!!!
hahahahaha...
sounds like a stalker rite.......
hehehheehe
well.......
no use i add his email though......
sure he gona ask who am i n wer i get his email.........
aiks............
i got his email...........
hahhahaha........
but no use..........
well i try search it at facebook........
n i found his profile!!!!!!!!!!!!yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahhahaha....
but i cant read the details or anything......
haiz.............
y did he make it private???!!!!!!!!
dun la make it private.............
at least let me read some info lo............
haiz...................
i wan read his info!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
should i add or shounldnt i????
still thinking.........
haiz.............
y???
y???..
y??? y private la............aiks!!!!!!!>.<
should i add at facebook????
but theres no mutual frens at all.........
haiz..........
it like so random if i add him.........
n make it feel like i'm stalking him..........
haiz..........
i dun wan b a stalker!!!!
but i am.......
hahahahaha
i so wana read his profile n c wat is he up to..........
haiz...........
should i just randomly add him???
hehehehehe.......
still thinking........
i think i repeated this dy.......
but i still wan repeat...........
hahahaha
opppssss...
'accidentally'added him on facebook.......
hahahahaha..........
n i should just forget bout it............
hehehehehe
btw he isnt that cute/handsome la............
i just think he is very familiar...........
very very familiar.........
i feel like i see him b4 somewhere...........
but i cant remember wer...........
or mayb he is handsome for me so i think i c him b4????
but still.......
i keep think that i c him  b4........heheheheheh
but duno wer......
is it the church camp i go last 2 years???
mayb he is a christian....
mayb i saw him there b4..........
but still......
i duno la..........
just feel like seeing him b4 ny........
hahahaha...........
hmm.........
this post is too much bout him.....
i think i'm obessing......
shit la me...........
hahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaha
#edit...his email is deskkl123@hotmail.com
hmmm...just incase i forget.......hehehehehe
 ohya......just wan add this.......he added me on facebook!!!!!!!!!!!hahahhahaha...
i oso duno wat 2 say......hehehehehhe
n btw.......i think he got gf liao....=(

=(

 feel like crying eventhough i hvnt read all...
i only manage to read eunhyuk n donghae post......
donghae one is so touching.......
making me cry..
its like 20 min b4 class n i'm crying
i dun wan to go to class wit red eyes...
will continue reading it 2nite......
http://sapphirepearls.com/2010/03/30/080309-sjs-letters-to-elf/

invisible

thought of sleeping for a 20 min b4 class so that i wont b tired later..
but i cant sleep....
i keep thinking bout something...
something that bother me a lot....
am i that invisible.......
am i that easy to b forgotten......
i feel left out from my frens....especially sabs ktn frens...
they go out nvr ajak me or anything.......
eventhough they got ajak or i'm there,
they dont seem to realise that i'm there...
they always forgot my presence......
am i invisible???
i noe i dun talk much n isnt that sosialable.....
but still.......
i'm there......
right in front of u n even talk wit u.......
but still.........
i seems to b invisible to u...
not only u..........
but other ppl too............
i guess i'm reli invisible......
or mayb i;m the only child...
i dun talk much at home n didnt reli sosial a lot wit ppl.......
haiz.........
even wit my cousins i talk very little..........
or mayb i should say
i dun reli talk to them oso........
haiz.........
i guess i'm just invisible too everyone......
but i dun like to b alone........
i nvr wan to b alone.......
i go anywer i hope theres ppl pui me.....
i dun like the alone feeling.....
it makes me so lonely.........
i hate to b lonely...........
i wan to b wit frens......
i dun wan to alone........
i dun wan b lonely..........
but then..........
wat can i do........
i guess i hv 2 b lonely........
no one ever care bout me n my presence.......
unless they need my help or sumtin.....
then mayb they will remember me......
other time
i'm just invisible.........
im invisible........
invisible.......

hmmm

hmmm...
this should b my 6th post...
but duno y 2 post lost dy...
haiz....
i guess i wan write the sensitive issue again....
y la my cousijn hv 2 ask me that question.....
i nvr think bout it b4 n nvr wan to think bout it,....
i just wan live my life without questioning my self bout it.....
y must she ask such a random ques la...
its very senstitive to me though....
it make me think a lot....
haiz.........
do i ever blame my parents for being the only child??
wat u wan me to answer la????
i blame them ah???
asthough i n my parents can choose ar....
i think if can they oso wan more children la....
but then this is fate....
wat can they do???
if i blame them life will b better ah????
no
it will b just the same.....
so y i wan blame my parents n make them feel sad la.....
they feel sad i oso will feel sad ma.....
eventhough it isnt nice to be the only child(every1 thinks is great to b only child which is not great at all)
but still.....
this is my life....
i still hv 2 live wit it....
i'm already 18 n my parents r like 59 n 57 ....
then i force them to hv another child ah???
no matter wat nothing can change though.....
its my life n i accept it....
no need to question it at all......
eventhough i hv a bro.....
or mayb so call step bro....
who doesnt even care n talk to me.....
well my parents duno that i knew bout it.....
so i just gona keep it a secret....
i dun think i wan to ask my parents bout it at all.....
its nice to b the only child...
heheheheh
i'm not being selfish....
but then..........
normal time i c him he dun even talk to me....
then if my parents reli admit him n make him move to my house...
then wat happen???
wat if he move in n still ignore me...
isnt that worse..........
surely more worse i think.......
i dun think i can bare wit it.......
i sure will fight wit him though.......
eventhough i reli wan a bro.......
especially a elder bro..........
i still wont mention bout it.......
i duno y......
but the word older bro seem to gv me protection.......
the word seems like they r some1 that i can trust....
when i hv prob or anything.....
i can rely on them...........
but still..........
i guess i gona make it a secret only.......
i dun think so i wan tell any1 bout it........
its nice to make it a secret....hahaha...i';m seriuosly insane....
hahahhahahahha

wow

i just realise this morning that 2 of my post just dissapear....
or should i say didnt get 2 upload???
must b coz the connection damn suck here though
it reli reli sucks...
hahaha
the 1st post is to thanks xiatoong
or mayb should say i created this blog after reading xiatoong blog...
hehehehe
mayb i should get a blog earlier
after wriitng everything i keep in my mind
i feel better...
last night i reli have a good nite
mayb coz i feel more relax after writing out everything in my life....
hehehehehe
well 2day is tues my class doesnt start till 12.30pm so hurray!!!!
hahahahaha
2day got maths n critical thinking class
hmm looks like for this course i reli need to talk a lot.....
hahahah
reli hv 2 train my talking skills,presentation skills n oso my shyness!!!!
omg i seriously hv 2 overcome my shyness....
if not how i wan to present le....
shit lo...
seriously hv 2 overcome this prob lo....
if not i surely will hv problem liao....aiks...>.<
hmm
i'm hungry now...hehehe
wana make korean cup mee to eat....hehehe
i guess i wan diet while i at here...everyday saving up money ny....hahahaha
ohya i just now yesterday that my roommate hv the same birthday wit me....
hehehhe...
its like wow.....
hahahahaha
i found someone same birthday wit me here....
hehheheh
eventhough i only staying wit her for 2 weeks,
its still gud though....
hehheheheh
get 2 noe her....
got a new fren....hehehehe

4th

my 4th post since i created this account...
well i just created this 1 hour ago
n i writing the 4th post
hahahaha
i must b so damn bored
hehehehehe
i miss my ktn life...
especially last 3 months...
wer i stay at home n do ntg....
hahahha
i love that life so much....
just stay at home n on9 ny
its so damn nice....
hehehehe
now i heard wat i hv 2 do during the whole pre u course
i'm scare dy....
i feel like stop this course n change to other course
but i noe i should do that
my parents pay a lot to send me here to study
i was supose to study hard n get a scholaship...
but i didnt.....
i got a bad result for my spm
i made my parents dissapointed....
i'm so sorry.........
i gota get rid of my laziness here n work hard...
try 2 get scholarship for my degree course....
i dun wan make my parents dissapointed anymore....
n i feel bad for making my parents travel down kl this thurs just 2 help me move hostel....
if i hv my car here then they dont need to come down...
they dont need to b so tired....
i feel so bad making them travel...
but if they dun cum n help me
i 1 person wouldnt b able to move at all....
i cant get 2 find any1 to help me at all....
haiz....
am i a bad fren that no one ever wan help or b gud fren wit me???
my attitude got prob????
my style got prob????
i noe i'm ugly n fat....
n useless....
thats y i dun dare talk much or comment anything........
who wan 2 hear anything from a big fat ugly loser.....
i wan to change...
but couldnt.........
i duno y....
mayb thats y i seems unfrenly.......
but i'm so ugly oso no one wan 2 b frens wit me la
they c me then sure got bad impression dy.......
wer 2 find nice n gud frens???
starting a new life would b very difficult for me.......
haiz.........
i miss my 3months of laziness life so much.......
just stay at home....
no one would look n judge me........
but i understand..........
v hv 2 face this.......
theres no nice life forever...
v must work hard 2 get a gud life...
thats y i shouldnt gv up on my course....
i hv 2 b brave n go through this...
i hv 2 practice a lot so that i can present well during presentation....
i hv learn how 2 communicate well n shouldnt b shy at all...
other ppl can do it y cant i....
i MUST do it!!!!!!!1
gambateh!!!!!!!!!hwaiting!!!!!!!!!
suju always at my side...
eunhyuk would always b there!!!!!!!!!!!!
oppa!!!!saranghae!!!!
hahahahahah
this is so out of topic....
but i still wan to write...hahhahahaha.....